tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37272027189321284452024-02-06T22:06:53.257-08:00Axis EvilPunk artist in San Diego. Transgender, queer, and cute as Hell!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-17692612159341096082017-10-03T14:12:00.000-07:002017-10-23T14:16:09.721-07:00vocal frequency responseFrom <a href="http://genderpunk.net/">genderpunk.net</a>:<br />
<br />
I now can speak consistently for an hour in a feminine voice—decent pitch, resonance, and inflection—before needing to rest. Moreover, my voice now passes on the phone.<br />
<br />
So my voice therapist and I decided to tackle my singing range, to feminize that as well. (Followers of <a href="http://axisevil.com/">Axis Evil</a> know I sing with a masculine voice despite functioning in all other parts of my life using a feminine one).<br />
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I needed data to see where I stand currently:<br />
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Starting at D3 (146.832 Hz), which lies in the gender-neutral pitch range, I recorded myself singing the words “I am Emily” up the scale in half-step intervals until D5 (587.330 Hz). (But I couldn’t make it that far in practice). I used a synthesizer to provide the pitch at each interval.<br />
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I then cut the synthesizer track and ran the vocal track through a frequency analysis algorithm to get a frequency response (Bode) plot:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYffOICbwawD6WHBa7G36B3zl0XWB9yIS7QaiTSDQBHAAtUK7blBxY3-FxE6qGMcOdKUi6WJMvvOiUXGEVQRRcw3IT1lB8gbhad01NRyUdfuNKJcUE2yXcq11qQb2mr3U0xwk6710doA/s1600/frequency_spectrum_analysis.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="640" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYffOICbwawD6WHBa7G36B3zl0XWB9yIS7QaiTSDQBHAAtUK7blBxY3-FxE6qGMcOdKUi6WJMvvOiUXGEVQRRcw3IT1lB8gbhad01NRyUdfuNKJcUE2yXcq11qQb2mr3U0xwk6710doA/s320/frequency_spectrum_analysis.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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As you can see from the plot, I can hold it up to about middle C, but can’t currently sustain volume beyond that.
Good baseline information.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-60664341298389266742017-09-21T14:08:00.000-07:002017-10-23T14:16:20.662-07:00the one song I kept (artistic synthesis)From <a href="http://genderpunk.net/">genderpunk.net</a>:<br />
<br />
I’ve released two rock albums since transitioning. Moreover, these are the only albums I’ve ever released. I wrote all the songs for these albums post-transition… except one. Here I talk about that one and why I kept it.<br />
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The song is called “Voice in the Distance” and it appears on my debut album “<a href="https://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God</a>”.<br />
<iframe height="150" seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=922641086/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;" width="300"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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First, it makes more sense to look at the songs I left behind, rather than the one I kept. I wanted a musical reset since the emotional upheaval that accompanied my transition drove the construction of “City of God”. I developed a new sound at that time and wanted to leave my old sound behind, just like I was developing a new (public) identity and leaving my old one behind.<br />
<em><strong><br /></strong></em>
<em><strong>ASIDE:</strong></em> The intersection of my transgender experience and several songs on both my albums “City of God” and “<a href="https://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/light-me-up-and-love-the-bomb">Light Me Up and Love the Bomb</a>” is explored in the post “<a href="http://genderpunk.net/2017/03/02/this-is-transgender-music/">this is transgender music</a>” if you are interested.<br />
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So that explains why I did not keep most of my old songs. But what about “Voice in the Distance”? Why did I retain and promote it?<br />
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First and foremost, I thought it was the best song I had written pre-transition and worth preserving in an artistic sense. Moreover, it anticipated the sound I was to develop post-transition. So musically it belonged with my newer material.<br />
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Second, I did not have any subconscious association between that song and masculinity. My other pre-transition songs were written for all guy bands.<br />
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Finally, “Voice in the Distance” is a spiritual song—but not “in your face” about it—that really transcends gender. I relied on every ounce of spirituality I held to survive my transition, and so spirituality belonged on the debut album. Even the debut album’s name “City of God” is spiritual. So in that way “Voice in the Distance” looked forward in time, even though I wrote it about nine years prior to writing “Talk”, my first post-transition song.<br />
<iframe height="150" seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=3090071404/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;" width="300"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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Transition requires a life trajectory of constant evolution. This provides a wellspring of artistic material and artistic synthesis.<br />
<em><strong><br /></strong></em>
<em><strong>BTW:</strong></em> “Voice in the Distance” is one of my favorite pieces to perform live. First and foremost, I’m good at performing it, as I’ve played it often and had it for so many years. Also, people like it! More importantly, I enjoy playing it. The tune is complicated enough to satisfy my intellect and simple enough (for my guitar/voice skill) to perform effortlessly.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-30790872278290558402017-03-05T12:54:00.000-08:002017-03-15T10:12:19.177-07:00Draft Lyrics: “Pipe Bomb”<h2>
Lyrics</h2>
I’m a terrorist and a provocateur<br />
A pipe bomb to your image of God<br />
To your image of state<br />
To your image of man<br />
‘Cause it’s all about men isn’t it?<br />
<br />
I walk in heals because I damn well please<br />
Carry revolution in my poise<br />
A moving target…<br />
…I carry transition in my poise<br />
<br />
I’m a scientist and a provocateur<br />
A pipe bomb to your comfort<br />
To your narrow vision of peace<br />
To your vision of stability<br />
‘Cause it’s all about your stable god isn’t it?<br />
<br />
I walk in heals because I damn well please<br />
Carry revolution in my poise<br />
A moving target…<br />
…I carry transition in my poise<br />
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There is only one way out of this<br />
Deconstruction and personal revolt<br />
Love and full acceptance<br />
<div>
<h2>
Explanation</h2>
I like to tell folks what my lyrics are about: I read an article on the Huffington Post (<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/from-the-bomb-to-isil-or-duck-and-cover-here-come_us_58af453fe4b0e5fdf6196f8d">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/from-the-bomb-to-isil-or-duck-and-cover-here-come_us_58af453fe4b0e5fdf6196f8d</a>) discussing how the reaction to Christine Jorgensen's transition in her time was really a reaction to a world changed by the emergence of "the bomb". The article then makes a similar connection between the emergence of ISIS and present modern hostility and fear of transgender people.<br />
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ISIS is breaking down the social order of the nation-state, rather, it is a symptom of the breakdown of the nation-state. Similarly, the bomb broke down the social order of a world at the mercy of only God with regard to our species' annihilation. The bomb allowed us to do it ourselves. In each case we had to face a stark change in worldview.<br />
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Transgender breaks down the social order of gender that has existed at least since the Industrial Revolution, and much longer in one form or another. I accept my role then as a sabatour of this social order and wear my expression with pride. But I state at the end of these lyrics how the real need is love and acceptance, not one social order or another.<br />
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I refer to God a lot in an implied negative way in many of my songs. Do the same here. However, I'm not actually referring to God (my friend and true guide in life), but to the narrow image of God that conservatives of most faiths cling to. "Stability" is their god, not God. While I believe there are a few absolutes in terms of right and wrong, we should not create God in "our own image". God is seen as masculine in popular imagery and in the use of the pronoun "He". So by walking away from being "he", I am walking away from a popular image of God. But this should not be taken for walking away from God.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-2986014306965388162017-03-02T08:50:00.006-08:002017-03-02T10:29:43.825-08:00This is "Transgender" MusicI identify my music as "transgender" in that it emits from my experience as a transgender person. Sometimes directly—I occasionally write songs specifically about transgender issues—but usually less directly. Here I deconstruct this musical identity in my work, and provide example songs to illustrate.<br />
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My primary goal as a musician is to strengthen the transgender community. The target audience is anyone who will listen. We can strengthen our community in two ways: Uplifting each other and telling our stories to the world. Both are required and my music does that. I aim to become a significant voice in the transgender community.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Writing Songs Directly About Transgender Issues</span></h2>
We (all musicians) usually write protest songs about specific issues. In my case I’ve written two that directly respond to a situation our community faces:<br />
<h3>
“Stand”</h3>
I wrote this in response to the passage of North Carolina's HB2 restricting where my compatriots and I can use the bathroom. The song is livid, and you can hear it in the dissonance I employ in the song’s construction. But it is also about resistance; about standing up and demanding recognition and acceptance for whom one is. This has become my "transgender anthem"; I broadcast it (online) every Coming-Out Day and every Day of Empowerment.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=266543297/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h3>
“Smelly Cunt”</h3>
More specific to transgender women: While most feminists support us, there is a vocal subset of feminists that really look down on transgender women. They quip that we can never be "real" women because we have never woken up with a "smelly vagina" (for those of us that do not have vaginas).<br />
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But their argument is actually more sophisticated and somewhat reasonable: They argue that anyone raised as a boy is more acculturated to "move among masculine power" than anyone reared as a girl. Given that we live in a patriarchal society, this acculturation is a real advantage they say. It probably is. Moreover, they regard this division as a "caste system" in which boundaries may never be crossed. Less defendable is their assertion that transgender women "just want attention".<br />
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"Smelly Cunt" responds to this. I argue in the song that I experience the same fear of rape, and the same exclusion from equal pay and the "old boy’s network" that all women do. Therefore, I'm a woman because I experience the oppression women face. I also make it clear that the boundaries between sexes and between genders are not biologically and socially rigid; therefore sex/gender is not a "caste". Finally, I make it clear that I’m not living a feminine life simply to get attention.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=564786416/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Writing Songs that Indirectly Draw From My Transgender Experience</span></h2>
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<h3>
Hormones</h3>
The hormones I take dramatically impact my emotions. Feelings like love, anger, and sadness are more intense than I’ve ever experienced before. Writing music is a good, healthy outlet for expressing and processing these enhanced feelings. Furthermore, the hormones destabilized my already tenuous mood, so there is more emotional "dynamic range" in the music I produce now than in the past.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=1863557803/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h3>
Sexuality</h3>
To my complete surprise, my sexuality evolved post-transition. Prior to that, I spent my whole life chasing women. Now I chase both women and men. I don’t know if this is due to taking estrogen or due to cultural forces, but the cause doesn’t really matter to me because I’m having a good time. Anyway, I’ve used music to explore psychosexual aspects of my life post-transition:<br />
<h5>
“Fuck Me, Kim Jong-Un”:</h5>
This is the first song I assume a first person sexualized feminine identity in—I'm not speaking as Emily but as a feminine sexual object. However, there is a role in the song for my male voice and the fact that I have a penis, making this song distinctly transgender in delivery. Basically, I mockingly adopt the Victorian stereotype of a woman who throws herself sexually toward powerful men—the stereotype of not being able to resist such men. In this case I throw myself in the song at Kim Jong-Un, while making fun of him in much sexualized terms. The fact that I’m biologically male increases the insult since I imagine North Korea is rather homophobic (just an assumption). The mix of speaking as biologically male and as a (Victorian-stereotyped) woman in the song is a uniquely transgender way to operate.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=2054951637/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h5>
“You Can Drive the World”</h5>
Here I experiment with stereotypically feminine power in romantic relationships, about gaining advantage over a partner in the bedroom through submission and poise. But more generally it is about my realization that I’m happy with letting a partner be the (kindly) dominant figure in the relationship as long as I hold some power in the bedroom. So in that way it is about accepting a feminine role in the patriarchy. I detest the patriarchy, but part of my transition from man to woman involved experiencing the power of the patriarchy over me for the first time—and that experience validated my success in becoming a woman.<br />
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Despite this connection to the loss of male privilege, the particular partner I envisioned when I wrote this song is a woman, a very brave and strong one. She heads her household with poise against significant obstacles, and I’d join that household in a heartbeat. I fell in love with her; this is a love song.<br />
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The final aspect of this song that emerges from my transgender experience is that now that I am "out", I’ve come out in other ways: I’m not afraid to speak my mind about my sexuality (or most anything for that matter). So I blatantly—and kindly—state in the song that “my agenda is to fuck (her)”.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=1455304609/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h3>
Romance</h3>
Dating has been extremely difficult post-transition. A woman I deeply loved turned me down because I became a woman (I’m not sure if that was the only reason). Several guys who expressed interest in me as a transgender woman ended up being too chickenshit to meet me in public, so I didn’t waste my time worrying about them. I’m proud of who I am and will not accept a partner who won’t introduce me to their mother. But this frustration has been intense, and I wrote four songs to express it:<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=3090071404/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=3697282433/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=887156600/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=1863557803/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<br />
<h3>
Complexity</h3>
My harmonies and counterpoint are complicated. I also favor intricate percussion. Some of this is to satisfy my intellect, but mostly it reflects that transgender life is emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually complex. Gender dysphoria of any type is a complicated experience; it is hard to describe and process. So I write music that is harder to process intellectually than standard punk, metal, and hardcore music.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=2561005452/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=1455304609/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h3>
Dissonance and Tension</h3>
Gender dysphoria is mental dissonance and extreme tension. So my music is dissonant and tense.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3333723341/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=266543297/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god">City of God by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<h3>
Unstable Harmonies</h3>
Reflecting on the fact that mental illness rates are high for the transgender community, as demonstrated by my own instability, I choose harmonies that are unstable. A technical example of this is that I rarely use power chords (first and fifth note of the scale played in the low register of a guitar). Instead I use parallel fourths in the same register (first and fourth note of the scale). This is more “gritty” and less harmonically stable, particularly because the root of the scale is unclear: Is the root the lower pitch note, or is it the higher pitch note with the 5th in the bass (an inverted power chord)? This uncertainty reflects how I often feel.<br />
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My cover of Rush's "Animate" demonstrates my decision to reduce the harmonic stability from that in original arrangement. The chorus of the original recording does not use low-register parallel fourths. I do:<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1137204873/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=1163909435/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/covers">Covers by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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I repeat this method during the verse guitar part in my cover of "Poker Face".<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1137204873/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=317399629/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/covers">Covers by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Covering Female Artists</span></h2>
Despite my masculine voice and masculine vocal range, I make a point to cover female-identified artists to express solidarity and respect. Women must constantly uplift each other in a patriarchal society, so I’m uplifting Madonna and Lady Gaga by covering their songs. This is an assertion of my womanhood, which I constantly feel I must do to survive living in a society that directs me to live as a man.<br />
<br />
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1137204873/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=3395301109/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/covers">Covers by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=1137204873/size=small/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/track=317399629/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 42px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/covers">Covers by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Punk and Hardcore</span></h2>
As a transgender woman, I’ve found the most support among musicians playing punk rock, metal, and hardcore. I perform and compose other forms of music as well, but "punk" is my community. "Punk" is my home.<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;"></span><br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Axis Evil</span></h2>
This is my stage name. I selected it to make fun of George W. Bush, and to mock those who consider transgender an evil thing. Please check out my new album "<a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/city-of-god" target="_blank">City of God</a>" at <a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/">axisevil.bandcamp.com</a>, and my website at <a href="http://axisevil.com/">axisevil.com</a>. You can follow me on Facebook and Twitter at @axisevilmusic.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh04fYtaeVyUTKLhnQOsYNpiGdN_La0Nm1dub0UD6GJLSTUGDcVW_AN-1ZhlHaKgR_V0KBJVVCM8OKqArn4MzPe6Hrx3Pmid64tO0IRh7x8b6e1NVf5_ENa7t-VnuwuhQyZG_0H3JpRKA/s1600/IMG_1682.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh04fYtaeVyUTKLhnQOsYNpiGdN_La0Nm1dub0UD6GJLSTUGDcVW_AN-1ZhlHaKgR_V0KBJVVCM8OKqArn4MzPe6Hrx3Pmid64tO0IRh7x8b6e1NVf5_ENa7t-VnuwuhQyZG_0H3JpRKA/s320/IMG_1682.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-82528154413165902112017-02-22T18:21:00.004-08:002017-02-23T09:06:38.533-08:00String Quartet for Mini and AmolI wrote the following string quartet as a wedding gift for two friends:
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<h1>
Cheesy MIDI Rendition</h1>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=2475084922/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=769656607/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 120px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/experiments">Experiments by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<br />
<h1>
Sheet Music</h1>
<a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzqNzl6eyl0MaXR5ZXFGeXI1RGs">https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzqNzl6eyl0MaXR5ZXFGeXI1RGs</a>
<br />
<br />
<h1>
Technical Details</h1>
Written in the Lydian mode. I did not think consciously about harmonic rhythm when I wrote this, just added layers of counter melodies that I thought sounded good.<br />
<br />
I don't actually play any of these instruments, but made every effort to write something that can physically be played on them. I'll probably hire a string quartet in the near future to test my work out, and to record it.<br />
<br />
But first I need to add dynamics, staccatos, and other annotations. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-4911605894594419332017-02-20T10:06:00.000-08:002017-02-20T10:10:21.114-08:00The Trick to Improvisation is Confidence<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
The trick to improvisation is confidence.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
I was asked at a punk show last night to come up on stage and sing with the band. Problem was, I did not know and have never heard their music. They handed me a microphone and started playing, and I realized they wanted an original vocal track. The stakes were high for me; there were about 30 people in the audience and I’m promoting my music actively, so I really wanted to make a good impression. Therefore I mustered up all the confidence I could and made up lyrics and melody on the spot. And stage presence. One always has to project good stage presence (this was hard for me because I’m usually standing behind a guitar when I sing).</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Anyway, we made it work! Sure the decades I’ve spent developing my musical skill helped, but I primarily credit the <i>DECISION</i> to deliver confidence for the success.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-75489711877058150942017-02-19T10:39:00.001-08:002017-03-15T10:14:37.879-07:00How I'm Going to Get There (Notes)<h2>
Notes on How I'm Going to Achieve My Goal</h2>
Organize transgender musician “summit”<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>D, R, and J</li>
<li>Group on Facebook</li>
<li>Draft plans</li>
</ul>
Help at Transgress Fest<br />
<br />
Work on getting more gigs<br />
<ul>
<li>SD county</li>
<li>OC county</li>
<li>LA county</li>
<li>Booking agency in Long Beach</li>
<li>Fallbrook open mic?</li>
<li>Soda Bar</li>
<li>Casbah</li>
<li>House of Blues</li>
<li>Queer bars</li>
</ul>
Girls to the Front<br />
<ul>
<li>Propose April or May</li>
</ul>
Post liberally to the Transgender Musicians Network Group<br />
<br />
Find other Facebook groups for transgender musicians<br />
<br />
Write a 10-15 minute sitar set<br />
<br />
Take sitar lessons<br />
<br />
Connect with East Meets West Music<br />
<ul>
<li>and the Ravi Shankar Institute</li>
</ul>
Look into getting CDs made<br />
<br />
Write a blog post justifying my “raw” mix down<br />
<br />
Write a blog post about how creativity is a skill<br />
<br />
Pay for my domain name<br />
<br />
Start a SoCal trans musicians Facebook group<br />
<br />
“featuring Emily Williams” on all instrumentals<br />
<ul>
<li>or all sitar work</li>
</ul>
Backup files<br />
<br />
Get files on iPhone<br />
<br />
UCSD radio<br />
<br />
Album reviews<br />
<ul>
<li>Alyssa’s zine</li>
<li>other?</li>
<li>the Advocate?</li>
</ul>
Write blog posts on my music theory<br />
<br />
Post tablature online<br />
<br />
Enter contests<br />
<ul>
<li>composition contests</li>
<li>Guitar Center</li>
<li>songwriting contests</li>
<li>other?</li>
</ul>
Always be ready to perform<br />
<ul>
<li>gear ready</li>
<li>iPad with me and charged</li>
<ul>
<li>or iPhone with me and charged</li>
</ul>
</ul>
Punk Rock Food Drive<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
Strategic use of Facebook promotions</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>how to measure?</li>
<li>when to use?</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
How to measure brand success?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
How to measure success in general?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Write blog post about my intent to be “selectively famous”<br />
<br />
Read about it<br />
<ul>
<li>How to promote</li>
<li>How to get gigs</li>
<li>How to tour</li>
<li>How to market</li>
<li>How to use Facebook effectively</li>
<ul>
<li>and other social media</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div>
Up the Twitter use</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Plan a GoFundMe strategy for touring</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>USA</li>
<li>India</li>
</ul>
<div>
Print business cards<br />
<br />
Renew SoundCloud<br />
<br />
Figure out a plan for using metrics<br />
<ul>
<li>SoundCloud</li>
<li>Band Camp</li>
<li>Google</li>
<li>etc.</li>
</ul>
<div>
Contact NotApologetic</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li>Shows together</li>
<li>Collaborations</li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
Send sitar recording to the shop I bought the sitar at.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Get a CD of my sitar recording to East Meets West Music</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Get the sitar piece ready for the stage. Keep developing it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Connect with Headstone and the Schematics</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Market in Korea again</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-52205772614139367322017-02-17T09:52:00.001-08:002017-02-26T08:46:55.250-08:00"Red Shift" featuring Emily Williams<h1>
Recording</h1>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=2561005452/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 120px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<br />
<h1>
Sheet Music</h1>
<div>
<a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzqNzl6eyl0MMlllbUdtTUJuUVU">https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzqNzl6eyl0MMlllbUdtTUJuUVU</a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Rhythms aren't perfect. I added guitar tablature for the sitar part in case anyone wanted it.</div>
<h1>
Notes</h1>
<div>
I've always enjoyed Hindustani music, and after traveling in northern India last December I've become passionate about it. Therefore I am learning all I can about the subject. Furthermore, I am incorporating these ideas into my own work. I consider it "cultural exchange" rather than "cultural appropriation" since I am making every effort (but not necessarily succeeding) to respect the contexts of the ragas I employ.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Anyway, here is a composition I wrote for the sitar that combines Western and Hindustani ideas. The technical details:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The Hindustani ideas I use are:</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Melody in the sitar.</li>
<li>Used the Yaman raga in the bass. However, I'm not sure I used the motifs and dominant notes of the raga properly.</li>
<li>I intended to use the Yaman raga in the melody, but made a mistake that I thought sounded good, so I went with it. Essentially, I mix use of the perfect and augmented 4th, and use of the major and minor 7th. Similarly, I mix use of the major and minor 3rd.</li>
<li>The interplay between the sitar and bass was inspired by the interplay between the sitar and tabla that you hear in Hindustani music.</li>
</ol>
The harmonies and backbeat are fundamentally Western.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I really hope you like it!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-74120938610510900772017-02-12T17:30:00.000-08:002017-02-12T17:34:34.688-08:00Potential Material for Alyssa’s and Daliah's ZineDaliah and Alyssa,<br />
<br />
Here are lyrics you are absolutely welcome to publish in your new zine! If you use any of these, I’m hoping you can put in a link to the recording.
<br />
<br />
<h1>
You Can Drive the World</h1>
I'm a gentle discontent<br />
Ready for poise<br />
Ready to please<br />
Ready to gain advantage<br />
<br />
I'm bold discontentment<br />
Ready to light something big<br />
And this world is not enough<br />
So let's make a new one<br />
<br />
My agenda is to fuck you<br />
My agenda is to drive you<br />
Decent and kind<br />
Loving and responsible<br />
And you can drive the world<br />
<br />
I'm gentle release<br />
Disguised as pressure<br />
Disguised as peace<br />
Ready to gain advantage<br />
<br />
I'm bold release<br />
With no loss of composure<br />
No loss of grace<br />
And this world is not enough<br />
So let's make a new one<br />
<br />
My agenda is to fuck you<br />
My agenda is to drive you<br />
Decent and kind<br />
Loving and responsible<br />
And you can drive the world<br />
<br />
With no loss of grace<br />
No loss of composure<br />
You can drive the world<br />
<br />
<h1>
Stand</h1>
Stand up you little chickenshit<br />
when your chosen name is resistance<br />
your choice to live is resistance<br />
It's a simple matter really<br />
Revolution in and beyond the mind<br />
<br />
I'm exactly who I am and I make no apologies<br />
<br />
When your life just wants to be normal<br />
With your name no big deal<br />
It's a simple request really<br />
Acceptance in and beyond the mind<br />
<br />
So stand up and demand it<br />
The time is now<br />
The times demand it<br />
<br />
<h1>
Grandiosity</h1>
These are the days of passive rejection<br />
Of sins of omission<br />
But who really cares?<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter grandiosity<br />
Of driven absurdity<br />
But it takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
These are the days of active resistance<br />
Of sins of commission<br />
And you care too damn much<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter persistence<br />
Of driven despair<br />
But it takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
<h1>
Smelly Cunt</h1>
I’ve never had a smelly cunt<br />
but I still fear men in the dark<br />
I’ve never had a smelly cunt<br />
but I still fear rape in the dark<br />
<br />
its not who you fuck<br />
its not a caste, not abstraction<br />
there’s no release from this, no algorithm,<br />
no relief<br />
<br />
I’ve never had a smelly cunt<br />
so where’s my equal pay?<br />
I’ve never had a smelly cunt<br />
still I’m not a part of this “club”<br />
<br />
its social abstraction,<br />
genetic algorithm,<br />
brain development flux<br />
but I know its easier for you to assume I want attention<br />
<br />
I’ve never had a smelly cunt<br />
and I’m a better woman than you are<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-41908392960644733182017-02-11T16:45:00.000-08:002017-02-12T20:55:39.070-08:00Something I Might Set to Music<h2>
Lyrics</h2>
I need your help to find a creative, open-hearted solution to a major issue in my life:<br />
<br />
Despite my best efforts to the contrary, you remain the most important person in the world to me. I've given up trying to change this fact.<br />
<br />
So now I’m trying to create a positive way to live with that reality—one that works for you… one that you can tolerate.<br />
<br />
Preferably one that adds value to your life. One that brings happiness and joy to your life.<br />
<br />
I need your openness, support, and creativity to help me find a path forward.<br />
<h2>
Thoughts on How I'd Set it to Music</h2>
My late 90's composition "3Jane" (<a href="https://soundcloud.com/axisevil/3jane">https://soundcloud.com/axisevil/3jane</a>) sets a precedent--as far as my work goes--for setting spoken word to music, though here I'd do something more upbeat and hopeful.<br />
<br />
There is the concept of "techno without a backbeat" that I've experimented with before; I'm thinking heavy use of samples, synthesizers, and electric instruments. Nothing acoustic. Nothing chordal. No melody. No harmonic rhythm. Just sound.<br />
<br />
But major 3rds and major 7ths to establish the optimistic imagery I'm going for. No cheesy perfect 4ths since they will suck the life out of it. However, augmented 4ths (a la the Yaman raga) might be perfect.
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-82243639722961415022017-01-17T22:37:00.003-08:002017-02-09T09:19:06.460-08:00New, Original Song: "You Can Drive the World"<h1>
Recording</h1>
<iframe seamless="" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=1455304609/transparent=true/" style="border: 0; height: 120px; width: 100%;"><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<br />
<h1>
Lyrics</h1>
I'm a gentle discontent<br />
Ready for poise<br />
Ready to please<br />
Ready to gain advantage<br />
<br />
I'm bold discontentment<br />
Ready to light something big<br />
And this world is not enough<br />
So let's make a new one<br />
<br />
My agenda is to fuck you<br />
My agenda is to drive you<br />
Decent and kind<br />
Loving and responsible<br />
And you can drive the world<br />
<br />
I'm gentle release<br />
Disguised as pressure<br />
Disguised as peace<br />
Ready to gain advantage<br />
<br />
I'm bold release<br />
With no loss of composure<br />
No loss of grace<br />
And this world is not enough<br />
So let's make a new one<br />
<br />
My agenda is to fuck you<br />
My agenda is to drive you<br />
Decent and kind<br />
Loving and responsible<br />
And you can drive the world<br />
<br />
With no loss of grace<br />
No loss of composure<br />
You can drive the world
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-50360814118666271172016-10-26T11:58:00.003-07:002016-12-02T13:25:08.348-08:00Nuke Me, Kim Jong-un<h1>Recording</h1>
<iframe style="border: 0; width: 100%; height: 120px;" src="https://bandcamp.com/EmbeddedPlayer/album=3186114653/size=large/bgcol=ffffff/linkcol=0687f5/tracklist=false/artwork=small/track=2054951637/transparent=true/" seamless><a href="http://axisevil.bandcamp.com/album/new-album-in-progress">New album in progress... by Axis Evil</a></iframe>
<br/>
<h1>Lyrics</h1>
Nuke me, Kim Jong-un<br />
Can you get it up?<br />
Fuck me, Kim Jong-un<br />
Can you get that rocket up?<br />
<br />
Can your glorious essence please my humble ass?<br />
Can your joyous pride waste my country's ass?<br />
<br />
Nuke me, Kim Jong-un<br />
I want you to force me<br />
Fuck me, Kim Jong-un<br />
I beg for Unification with you<br />
<br />
Can your glorious essence please my humble ass?<br />
Can your joyous pride waste my country's ass?<br />
<br />
I beg for Unification with you<br />
I beg for Unification with you<br />
<br />
I just want to see you up close and personal<br />
Don't mind small dick when power compensates<br />
Don't mind small dick when you can shoot from a submarine<br />
Don't mind small dick 'cause I like big bombs<br />
<br />
Can your glorious essence please my humble ass?<br />
Can your joyous pride waste my country's ass?<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-114655426973146812016-10-02T17:57:00.002-07:002016-10-28T12:09:41.264-07:00New song and recording: "Smelly Cunt"<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
<h2>
Recording</h2>
<br />
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/287269210&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
<h2>
What It's About</h2>
<div>
There is a small, but loud, subgroup of feminists that say that transwomen can never be "real" women because we have never experienced having a "smelly vagina". This song illustrates that we suffer the same oppression that ciswomen do, and therefore are very much "real" women.</div>
<h2>
Lyrics</h2>
I’ve never had a smelly cunt</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
but I still fear men in the dark</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
I’ve never had a smelly cunt</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
but I still fear rape in the dark</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
its not who you fuck</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
its not a caste, not abstraction</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
there’s no release from this, no algorithm,<br />
no relief</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
I’ve never had a smelly cunt</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
so where’s my equal pay?</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
I’ve never had a smelly cunt</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
still I’m not in “the club”</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
its social abstraction,</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
genetic algorithm,</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
brain development flux</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
but I know its easier for you to assume I want attention</div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
I’ve never had a smelly cunt</div>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica"; font-size: 12px;">and I’m a better woman than you are</span><br />
<div style="font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; line-height: normal;">
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ZpraAzvMs8NTDPmJhgR8AbP3FJSb5HH-2HZXmNvlOxJTUGNf2dzC2zfOr2AvPJmQYYAli0W8uoMetoNVANb9KNvjTVUM5K3A6FDe7hhCLeyTvmwkIVn4nlGT6maZMh0AXofvn2gwGg/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-81303808412529349952016-07-26T09:40:00.001-07:002016-07-26T09:41:52.544-07:00draft lyrics: "A Fine Way To Keep From Dying"I'm going to pretend I don't give a fuck,<br />
And I want everyone to go along with the lie<br />
I'm going to bleed all over these lyrics<br />
Because it keeps me from bleeding on the floor<br />
<br />
I don't want to write another sad song<br />
I don't want to write another frustrated verse<br />
But it feels so out of hand<br />
<br />
This is when you have more caring than the world can take right now<br />
This is when you love more than the world will accept right now<br />
So I'm just going to pretend I don't give a fuck<br />
<br />
I'm going to fake everything<br />
And maybe I'll get somewhere<br />
It's a fine way to keep from dying<br />
A fine way to keep from dying<br />
<br />
I don't want to write another line of despair<br />
Another verse about nothing from nothing<br />
But it feels so out of hand<br />
<br />
This is when you have more caring than the world can take right now<br />
This is when you love more than the world will accept right now<br />
So I'm just going to fake it until I get somewhere<br />
<br />
And I'm going to push that rock back up the hill<br />
Push that rock back up the fucking hill<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDRowgiHA7F17zdH2u8Hkxyn0nbtj7dr-2gRfHcmWuz91ehImc4HwIRZFZ56pIJgXKMSBcv3PJ-zzN7hzWdTDDkwZDpEh_N_MhoJpchQVtl0OsG6Unm0bkkMfoCYFBPVA8O2Q4CIdrmQ/s1600/FullSizeRender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDRowgiHA7F17zdH2u8Hkxyn0nbtj7dr-2gRfHcmWuz91ehImc4HwIRZFZ56pIJgXKMSBcv3PJ-zzN7hzWdTDDkwZDpEh_N_MhoJpchQVtl0OsG6Unm0bkkMfoCYFBPVA8O2Q4CIdrmQ/s320/FullSizeRender.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-47136374076295940212016-07-04T20:08:00.003-07:002016-07-21T22:07:58.635-07:00new song and recording: "Nice Girl"Just a cheerful punk song:<br />
<h2>
Recording</h2>
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/272224115&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
<br />
<h2>
Lyrics</h2>
I'm not in love, but I like the idea<br />
Not infatuated, but I've got that feeling<br />
Just enough to keep me in pursuit<br />
Just enough to keep me in pursuit<br />
<br />
I'm not in love, but I like the idea<br />
It's a relief, and a new anxiety<br />
She's a nice girl, and I want to find out who she is<br />
She's a nice girl, and I want to find out who she is<br />
<br />
She's a nice girl, and I want to find out who she is<br />
She's a nice girl, and I wonder what secrets she keeps<br />
She's a nice girl, and I want to find out who she is<br />
She's a nice girl, and I want to find out what’s in it for me<br />
<br />
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</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVpGqNYCp2J3f-WwDrwP_7f82CwvvJbjT4kvBB4rhbCexUP2n4czbeEgEYHLvA1E045uEbYUHjsI_JfZ-DB-n7Y67feGxyQmzvkZReSzE6euji3mZK8KL5co5-om_r2sEmL4XEleaDQ/s1600/guitar_and_bass.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLVpGqNYCp2J3f-WwDrwP_7f82CwvvJbjT4kvBB4rhbCexUP2n4czbeEgEYHLvA1E045uEbYUHjsI_JfZ-DB-n7Y67feGxyQmzvkZReSzE6euji3mZK8KL5co5-om_r2sEmL4XEleaDQ/s320/guitar_and_bass.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-58337852613445367472016-06-12T19:16:00.002-07:002016-06-14T06:52:34.749-07:00new song and recording: "Grandiosity"<h1>
Recording</h1>
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/268814463&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
<br />
<h1>
What it is about</h1>
Bipolar mania. This needs to be talked about more.
<br />
<h1>
Lyrics</h1>
These are the days of passive rejection<br />
Of sins of omission<br />
But who really cares?<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter grandiosity<br />
Of driven absurdity<br />
But it takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
These are the days of active resistance<br />
Of sins of commission<br />
And you care too damn much<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter persistence<br />
Of driven despair<br />
But it takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlBEXKuDznts6WtZz9X2sNDdYk1N-vx2p-GtqKXpC4apWb-eZpCEzEO_Hg4dNs4ykOu1LEw1rNyxP6pyd802f8TSzyG7j1NeaqKxNB_5tMysnD0dDtRxulejmkD69R816QYS2_sNzCg/s1600/blank_image_200x200.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlBEXKuDznts6WtZz9X2sNDdYk1N-vx2p-GtqKXpC4apWb-eZpCEzEO_Hg4dNs4ykOu1LEw1rNyxP6pyd802f8TSzyG7j1NeaqKxNB_5tMysnD0dDtRxulejmkD69R816QYS2_sNzCg/s200/blank_image_200x200.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-58117807759468283602016-06-11T09:12:00.000-07:002016-06-12T19:09:01.761-07:00draft lyrics: "Straight Girl"She's a straight girl<br />
And I'm following my heart<br />
She's a straight girl<br />
It's a reckless thing to start<br />
<br />
So I've been through this beat before<br />
It first starts mild<br />
Gets inaccessible<br />
Then gets severe<br />
<br />
A crush is just a crush<br />
Until you're crushed under its weight<br />
When things get so far out of reach<br />
They become worth so much more to you<br />
<br />
She's a straight girl<br />
And I'm following my heart<br />
She's a straight girl<br />
It's a reckless thing to start<br />
<br />
There's no peace in mismatched attraction<br />
No peace in it at all<br />
She's a straight girl<br />
And a crush is a reckless thing to start<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-39071507352901697442016-06-02T20:34:00.000-07:002016-06-04T21:26:01.676-07:00draft lyrics: "Grandiosity"These are the days of passive rejection<br />
Of sins of omission<br />
But who really cares?<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter grandiosity<br />
Of driven absurdity<br />
But it takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
These are the days of active reaction<br />
Of sins of commission<br />
And you care too damn much<br />
<br />
These are the days of bitter persistence<br />
Of driven despair<br />
But it still takes you places<br />
<br />
It's manic self medication<br />
Or maybe manic restraint...<br />
...or maybe the problem<br />
You overthink it, deliberate it<br />
But it will still be here when you get back<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlBEXKuDznts6WtZz9X2sNDdYk1N-vx2p-GtqKXpC4apWb-eZpCEzEO_Hg4dNs4ykOu1LEw1rNyxP6pyd802f8TSzyG7j1NeaqKxNB_5tMysnD0dDtRxulejmkD69R816QYS2_sNzCg/s1600/blank_image_200x200.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFlBEXKuDznts6WtZz9X2sNDdYk1N-vx2p-GtqKXpC4apWb-eZpCEzEO_Hg4dNs4ykOu1LEw1rNyxP6pyd802f8TSzyG7j1NeaqKxNB_5tMysnD0dDtRxulejmkD69R816QYS2_sNzCg/s200/blank_image_200x200.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-50044770779619092042016-05-28T12:48:00.000-07:002016-05-28T12:49:19.039-07:00dealing with (musical) rejectionWhen you write songs, you become highly emotionally involved for two distinct reasons:<br />
<ol>
<li>The songs usually are personal and emotional in their content.</li>
<li>You worked your ass off to create the songs.</li>
</ol>
Then someone says you can’t play at their show because they don’t like your sound.<br />
<br />
This hurts.<br />
<br />
I’ve learned to just say “thank you” and move on. Here is what helps me handle the situation:<br />
<ol>
<li>MOST IMPORTANTLY: <span style="color: blue;">Desire to never burn bridges.</span> Folks change their minds. If you treat the person who rejected you with respect they might let you play in their show later. They might end up your biggest promoter in the future.</li>
<li>Believing in the music: Music can be good and not liked at first. This is especially common with innovative material. Others’ lack of vision is out of your control.</li>
<li>Having clear goals in mind: I know I want to promote the music, so I simply turn my efforts elsewhere toward achieving that goal. Others’ lack of vision is no reason to stop pursuing your own vision. </li>
</ol>
None of this is easy, but these ideas helped me through a recent situation involving a multiple act show I was trying to join.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-45243045632452960852016-05-14T10:53:00.000-07:002016-06-23T07:27:46.686-07:00new song and recording: "Prayer (Say Nothing Again)"This new, original song is called “Prayer (Say Nothing Again)” and was written in May 2016. The recording and lyrics are given below. Tablature and composition notes will be posted as soon as I finish them.
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Recording</span></h2>
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/262568734&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What It's About</span></h2>
The song is nominally about giving God the "finger". But it actually is about a crisis of faith which I have mostly resolved. However, since this is (sort of) punk music, I needed a rude image such as the middle finger rather than a sappy metaphor to portray the crisis.<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Tablature</span></h2>
Tablature will be posted as soon as I finish it. For now here is a snapshot of my bass notes:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinf_RIO163VYEkxsrdD5US-w2zflPBrcHLu-_1AxXyWC5KM3fewvtyzCvf_RWauIVa30ZK02oAYKrbNoW-zTtYU9M0RK4l9OoXp8uX3OjW57l2_rqp7htTnixKIEOxVKY8-yYO6suBUA/s1600/prayer_bass_line.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="161" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinf_RIO163VYEkxsrdD5US-w2zflPBrcHLu-_1AxXyWC5KM3fewvtyzCvf_RWauIVa30ZK02oAYKrbNoW-zTtYU9M0RK4l9OoXp8uX3OjW57l2_rqp7htTnixKIEOxVKY8-yYO6suBUA/s400/prayer_bass_line.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Lyrics</span></h2>
I just want to say nothing again<br />
I just want to say everything again<br />
But you won't listen anyway<br />
But you won't get it anyway<br />
So I'll just say nothing again<br />
<br />
I can't let her go right now<br />
So what the fuck do I do?<br />
Trying to find a way to leave the situation<br />
Trying to think of every way to get her attention<br />
<br />
'Cause I just want her to stop ignoring me<br />
And if she's not going to talk with me<br />
I need you to explain what's up<br />
I need you to explain what's up<br />
<br />
I just want to say nothing again<br />
I just want to say everything again<br />
But you won't listen anyway<br />
But you won't get it anyway<br />
So I'll just say nothing again<br />
<br />
Maybe it's slightly obsessive<br />
But its probably real love<br />
And I just want to share it with her<br />
And I just want to spend time with her<br />
<br />
So I'll just give you the finger<br />
And say nothing again<br />
But I really want something new to happen<br />
Really want you to explain it to me<br />
Really want you to explain it to me<br />
<br />
I just want to say everything again<br />
I just want to say everything again<br />
But will you listen? I know you get it<br />
But will you listen? I know you get it<br />
<br />
So I'll just give you the finger<br />
And say nothing again<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Live Performances</span></h2>
<ul>
<li>23 May 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>24 May 2016 at 1st Street Bar in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>25 May 2016 at O'Sullivan's Irish Pub in Escondido, CA</li>
<li>30 May 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>31 May 2016 at 1st Street Bar in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>7 June 2016 at the Ché Café Collective in San Diego, CA</li>
<li>9 June 2016 at Aztec Brewing Company in Vista, CA</li>
<li>20 June 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
</ul>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-77401270225827280172016-05-07T23:31:00.000-07:002016-06-11T07:57:47.907-07:00hard rock cover of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face"On a whim today I recorded a hard rock cover of Lady Gaga's "Poker Face". I hope you like it:<br />
<br />
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/263032178&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe><br />
<br />
<h2>
Live Performances</h2>
<ul>
<li>31 May 2016 at 1st Street Bar in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>1 June 2016 at O'Sullivan's Irish Pub in Escondido, CA</li>
<li>9 June 2016 at Aztec Brewing Company in Vista, CA</li>
</ul>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-46079989162808189262016-04-20T10:33:00.000-07:002016-06-23T07:28:04.068-07:00new song and recording: "Stand"This is a <i>DRAFT</i> of a song I am working on. I'm going to a conference before I'll have time to finish it, but want listeners to have access to it now. The recording and lyrics are posted below. Composition notes and tablature will be added as I finish them:<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Recording</span></h2>
<br />
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/257847877&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">What It's About</span></h2>
This song is a highly emotional response to the recent anti-trans legislation in statehouses sweeping the country. It is resistance in the tradition of feminist punk rock.<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">
Tablature</span></h2>
Tablature will be posted as soon as I finish it. For now here is a snapshot of my bass notes:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRCH6q3CLxJVIM3qxKT2P97obQkDkTHcxEgWdu7mWtnVDazCg7SjYBSHeZtWpQ_h_9fDYCFR9AjR46-S7cpo200sdbZJ2oUTradhvzx4d4twD0j9z9d7M2jKJH_LXdFNpBOge0K6NaQQ/s1600/Stand_bass_line_CROPPED.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="161" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRCH6q3CLxJVIM3qxKT2P97obQkDkTHcxEgWdu7mWtnVDazCg7SjYBSHeZtWpQ_h_9fDYCFR9AjR46-S7cpo200sdbZJ2oUTradhvzx4d4twD0j9z9d7M2jKJH_LXdFNpBOge0K6NaQQ/s320/Stand_bass_line_CROPPED.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Lyrics</span></h2>
Stand up you little chickenshit<br />
when your chosen name is resistance<br />
your choice to live is resistance<br />
It's a simple simple matter really<br />
Revolution in and beyond the mind<br />
<br />
I'm exactly who I am and I make no apologies<br />
<br />
When your life just wants to be normal<br />
With your name no big deal<br />
It's a simple request really<br />
Acceptance in and beyond the mind<br />
So stand up and demand it<br />
<br />
The time is now<br />
The times demand it<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Live Performances</span><br />
<ul>
<li>23 May 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>24 May 2016 at 1st Street Bar in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>25 May 2016 at O'Sullivan's Irish Pub in Escondido, CA</li>
<li>30 May 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>7 June 2016 at the Ché Café Collective in San Diego, CA</li>
<li>20 June 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
</ul>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-62766145353105249852016-03-31T11:13:00.001-07:002016-04-11T10:57:10.856-07:00performance video, 30 March 2016Last night I performed "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/03/waste.html" target="_blank">Waste</a>", "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/03/new-song-and-recording-voice-in-distance.html" target="_blank">Voice in the Distance</a>", and "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/02/new-song-and-recording-talk.html" target="_blank">Talk</a>" at O'Sullivan's in Escondido, CA. (This is a regular venue for me now):<br />
<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/57Z_Z0HHwQU" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
For such an easy song to play on the guitar, "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/03/waste.html" target="_blank">Waste</a>" is hard to get solid live. I'll keep at it! On the other hand, "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/02/new-song-and-recording-talk.html" target="_blank">Talk</a>" turned out extremely well in this recording.
<br />
<br />
- Emily
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-30284240647767327412016-03-22T11:05:00.002-07:002016-04-02T14:51:40.713-07:00performance at Mr. Peabody's - 21 March 2016Last night I performed at a more "professional" open mic in Encinitas. By more "professional", I mean that the sound system and hosting service was more sophisticated than previous venues:<br />
<br />
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Unfortunately my video recording did not work. It only captured the audio track. Strange.
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I waited to play here until I was more experienced, since better musicians and a better sound technician show up at this venue, and I wanted to make a good impression (which I did).<br />
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The vocals had reverb added to them, which helped my voice a lot. The only problem with the sound is the buzzing you hear. This is due to the fact that we don't know how to ground an iPhone to the PA. I'm going to research this issue today--may have to buy a better interface or better software.
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I took my brother's advice and banged on the guitar during the chorus of "<a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/02/new-song-and-recording-talk.html" target="_blank">Talk</a>". More precisely, I hit harmonics at strategic points. (He said I needed to be more animated during this section that I currently only sing, because the guitar part is too hard to play and sing over at the same time--although I'm working on it!).<br />
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Still getting used to the seventh string. You can hear that I occasionally hit the wrong string because I’m still not 100% certain where I am. This is also because I'm working on not looking at the guitar while I play, since I want to instead face the audience and need to sing directly into the microphone.
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Ran into trouble with the <a href="http://www.axisevil.com/2016/02/hard-rock-cover-of-depeche-modes-enjoy.html" target="_blank">Depeche Mode cover</a>. Apparently it could be legally considered "karaoke" since I’m using pre-recorded tracks, despite the fact that they are my tracks and I changed the instrumentation significantly. Therefore the host does not want me to play a cover again using an iPhone. (Had I just played a cover on a guitar it would have been fine--i.e. no pre-recording). So I need to learn more of my own songs to play at this venue again. I think this is going to be an ongoing issue with future venues as I move up the local music "food chain".
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Soon I'm going to experiment with filtering out the bass in my voice with filters (to "feminize" my voice). I’ll post a recording of this attempt as soon as I do it.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3727202718932128445.post-44900784229451832012016-03-20T15:19:00.001-07:002016-06-11T07:57:35.246-07:00new song and recording: "In My Element"This new, original song is called "In My Element" and was written in March 2016. The recording and lyrics are given below. Tablature and composition notes will be posted as soon as I finish them.
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<h2>
Recording</h2>
<iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/255707517&color=ff5500&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false" width="100%"></iframe>
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<h2>
Tablature</h2>
Tablature for this song is posted at: <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzqNzl6eyl0MdlR4VXluT0FqN3M/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BzqNzl6eyl0MdlR4VXluT0FqN3M/view?usp=sharing</a><br />
<h2>
Lyrics</h2>
They call it "ships passing in the night"<br />
We were more like ghosts, and quite buzzed<br />
A flash of intimacy, overt sensuality<br />
Not the love I'm looking for, but exactly what I needed<br />
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I find I'm in new company<br />
I find I'm in my element<br />
Out of the intellect<br />
And into the fire<br />
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Passion and validation make a volatile mix<br />
And when you love a stranger you might as well get it elsewhere<br />
A flash of intimacy, a bold exchange<br />
Not the love I'm looking for, but exactly what I needed<br />
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I find I'm in new company<br />
I find I'm in my element<br />
Out of the intellect<br />
And into the fire<br />
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I'm reckless to the core<br />
And I wouldn't change a thing<br />
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<h2>
Live Performances</h2>
<ul>
<li>30 May 2016 at Mr. Peabody's in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>31 May 2016 at 1st Street Bar in Encinitas, CA</li>
<li>1 June 2016 at O'Sullivan's Irish Pub in Escondido, CA</li>
<li>7 June 2016 at the Ché Café Collective in San Diego, CA</li>
<li>9 June 2016 at Aztec Brewing Company in Vista, CA</li>
</ul>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02676633756185084455noreply@blogger.com0